Silver Dollar
by Filthy Bunny
Summary: A series of snapshots from throughout the series, focusing on Kensi and her relationships with the rest of the team. Themes of friendship, identity, loss, and maybe romance at a later stage. Chapter one: Kensi and Nate.


A/N: Just to prove that I can write more than just Sam/G slash... ;P This is a Kensi-centred fic made up of snippets set throughout the series, exploring her relationships with each of the rest of the team. First up: Kensi and Nate. I love their friendship. ^_^

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**Silver Dollar **by Filthy Bunny

**1: Peace Dollar**

**Kensi to Nate**

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Kensi sank down onto the floor of the courtyard, the heat from the sun-baked tile radiating into her body. Normally she took these little time-outs in one of the shaded corners, but today the air-con indoors was giving her a chill and she needed the sun to warm her bones. The team was in the thick of a new case, but she had grabbed a few minutes' break while they were waiting for some intel from Eric. She tucked the cigarette she had cadged from Amy in the tech department between her lips and wriggled the lighter free of her jeans pocket. Leaning back into the hot wall, she let her eyes close and took the first tingling inhale on her cigarette. Perfect peace.

It didn't last long.

"You owe me ten bucks," a voice said as a shadow fell across her.

Kensi opened her eyes and peered up at Nate. "How's that?"

Nate lowered himself onto the ground beside her. "We agreed to five bucks every time you lapsed." He pointed at the cigarette in her hand. "I caught you sneaking out here the other day, too, but I was in the middle of a phone call at the time. So today makes it ten dollars. Although I suspect that in reality it's probably more like fifty."

Kensi smiled and shrugged. "Maybe thirty," she conceded. "I swear, I've been doing really well. And I never smoke at home any more."

"So what is it today that made you break your resolve?"

Kensi closed her eyes again, not wanting to squint against the bright sun. "I don't feel like talking about it, Nate."

"I'll let you off the ten bucks if you do."

"No, I don't mind paying it. We had an agreement."

Nate was quiet for a minute. "Is it about your, uh, assignment last night?" he ventured at last.

Kensi frowned. She had arrived late for work that morning still in her dress and heels from a date that had gone on longer than anticipated the night before. A lot longer. Hetty had come to her rescue with a cover story about an assignment, but Kensi knew none of the guys were buying it. And as her shitty luck would have it, they had _all_ been in the bullpen to witness her arrival.

"No, it's not that," she said with a sigh. "The _assignment_ was fine."

Nate didn't reply, just sat in his now-familiar _I'm listening_ silence. Kensi smoked and ran through the last tweny-four hours in her mind. The truth was, she wasn't exactly sure what was bothering her; her date had been fun – as had the hours that followed it back at his place – and this case wasn't getting to her particularly. But she wanted to give Nate something. He had always been a good friend to her and his reaching out came down to more than just his job role. He cared. Kensi knew that telling him to back off would only make her feel more lousy.

"I don't know what's bugging me," she told him. "I'm just kinda tense. I guess having everyone gawp at me this morning didn't help." She jabbed him with her elbow. "That includes you, by the way," she said without malice.

"Yeah, sorry about that," Nate mumbled. "We just don't usually see you dressed like that."

"I'm not so sure about that. Hetty enjoys dressing me up often enough."

"If it helps, I thought you looked very nice." He was sure to use his most gentlemanly tone so as to avoid sounding flirtatious. He knew Kensi hated it when colleagues came on to her, so much so that she could occasionally misinterpret an innocent compliment. Nate believed this came down to her simple desire to prove to herself, and her team, that her gender did not set her apart. And being used by Hetty as the team Barbie doll, or turning up to work in her dating gladrags, hardly helped her in that goal. "And you know Hetty," he went on. "She'll make use of any tool she thinks can give an agent the edge over their target, even if it seems to objectify them. I mean, Sam and Callen are good-looking guys, and she's dressed them up to take advantage of that plenty of times." He paused and gave her a sideways glance. "Um, please don't tell them I said they're good-looking."

Kensi grinned. "My lips are sealed." They sat for a while watching patches of cloud inch across the sky before she continued. "I just... I want to be taken seriously, you know? This job means everything to me."

"Kensi, believe it or not, we all know you're an excellent agent," Nate replied. "What makes you think that seeing you wearing a dress would make anyone take you less seriously?"

She shrugged again, and ground out her cigarette on the floor beside her. "I don't know. I suppose that side of me doesn't tie in so well with the whole badass federal agent image."

"That side of you?"

"Yeah. The girly-girl side. The side that gets excited about shoes, and worries about dates, and watches Sandra Bullock movies. It doesn't fit with my 'NCIS' side, the one that shoots guns and beats up bad guys and fixes cars..."

"And occasionally smashes them up?" Nate added, teasingly.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Sometimes things get a little messy. It's just part of the job."

"So you try to keep your more 'girly' side under wraps when you're working," Nate said. Kensi nodded. Nate rubbed his chin, rough with stubble after a couple of days without shaving, and seemed pensive. "Can I ask you something a little more personal?"

"Sure."

"Did your dad accept both these 'sides' of you?"

Kensi looked at the ground, briefly lost in thought. "Yes, he did," she said quietly. "He loved teaching me new things, like taking me out into the woods to track animals, or going to the shooting range. And he got a real kick out of knowing that I could talk back to him about sports or help him out when he was messing with his car engine. Sometimes he'd joke to his friends about his son, 'Kenny'." She smiled at the memory. "But he also loved that I was his little girl. He never made me feel that I was worth any less because I was female."

"So – is someone making you feel that way now?"

"Actually... no," she said. She sounded faintly surprised. "Everyone here is great. Maybe I'm the one making myself feel like that."

Nate nodded. "Just because one aspect of your personality seems more suited to the job you do, it doesn't mean the other aspects aren't important. They might be useful to you in ways you don't expect," he told her.

They sat in comfortable silence for a moment longer.

"Did I ever tell you about my coin collection?" Nate asked.

Kensi raised an eyebrow. "No."

"It's not all that impressive; I mean, I don't have anything _really_ valuable. And I haven't kept up the hobby all that much as an adult, most of what I have is the collection my uncle left me when I was a kid..." He realised he was waffling and stopped himself. "Anyway. Think about any coin. Both sides are different, and the designs may not look as though they even belong together. But the coin is worthless without either one." He traced a circle in the dust between his feet with a fingertip before looking up at her.

Kensi gave him a warm smile. The coin analogy may be a familiar one, but it was certainly apt. She gestured to the doorway that led inside. "I'd better get back to it," she said, and got to her feet. She made sure to collect her flattened cigarette butt from the ground to dispose of indoors; Hetty had an eagle eye for litter, and probably wouldn't stop short of dusting it for prints to find the culprit.

"Thank you, Nate."

"Any time," he replied. "Oh, and I'm putting the fee up to ten bucks a time from now on."

She grinned. "I'll quit, I swear. For good this time."

As the door swung closed behind her, Nate leaned back into the wall and closed his eyes.

"Sandra Bullock movies," he muttered to himself. "Huh."

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The following morning, Nate caught Kensi before she and Dom set off to relieve Sam and Callen of stakeout duty.

"Do you have a sec?" he asked, and led her off to one side. He took a small object from his pocket, and Kensi watched his hand open to reveal a silver coin. "Have you heard of the Peace Dollar?"

"I think so."

He placed it in her palm so she could examine it.

"It was a special dollar minted over a few years in the twenties and thirties," Nate explained. "These were the last dollar coins to contain actual silver in the US." Kensi ran her fingertips over the design, which showed the proud profile of Lady Liberty, her hair lifted by an invisible breeze. She turned it over in her hand. The other side portrayed an eagle perched on a rock with rays of sunlight in the background. The word _PEACE_ was written underneath.

"Anyway, it made me think of what we were talking about yesterday. Both sides are different, but they stand for the same values. And it's a beautiful coin, don't you think?" Kensi bit her lip and nodded. "I wanted you to have it," Nate went on. "You know, to remind you."

"Nate, I couldn't," she said. "It's part of your collection."

"It's fine. Honestly. I actually have a couple of others at home, from different years... And, I mean, it's not worth a lot of money..." He scratched his head.

Kensi could tell he was starting to feel awkward about the gesture, which somehow touched her even more. She closed her hand tightly around the coin.

"Thank you. So much." She gave him a quick, tight hug. "I won't forget what it means."


End file.
